I can't go swimming in the river (or I could but would prefer to avoid that challenge), I can't go for a walk without freezing, there are so many things that I cannot do. I could snowboard, ski, sled, ice skate... the only problem being that I don't know how to do any of those things. First is skiing, I don't have very good balance, and at the time of this little adventure into snow country, skiing was considered very lame. Snowboarding is cooler. Sledding... well I guess any idiot could do that, but it seemed too simple, and wasn't considered a sport that I could do with my other friends. I tried ice skating when I was around 8 years old, but after the dreadful bunny hop lesson, I quit.
There you have it, I was left with snowboarding. My friends had tried to teach me how to snowboard here and there, but the truth is that they all got tired of waiting for me, and just wanted to go have fun. Even before that, in my middle school and early high school days, I tried snowboarding lessons. The bunny slopes were awesome, and by the time I could go down them and only fall once, the lessons were over. Following that was joining the snowboarding club at my high school. It was great! We went three days a week after school, I had all of the equipment, and the teacher HAD to teach me. FORCED by the laws of earning a paycheck.
I was getting better and was off the bunny trails! After 2 or 3 weeks of the lessons, it was my day to go on a real trail! Hurray! My bald student rep advisor who was also my snowboarding buddy took me to the top of the easiest trail at Pat's Peak in N.H.
While sitting on the lift I began to anticipate how the hell to get off of it! This big wheeling machine that carries people up the mountain is not going to stop or hold out its hand so that I can arrive at my destination safely. My teacher explained it to me but I was still panicking, and when it came time for me to gently snowboard off of the lift, I gently snowboarded directly onto my face. This small incident would later define my snowboarding career.
I popped up from my mistake, and began to follow my teacher down a slightly steep bump that would lead me to the actual trail I was to go down. The slightly steep bump wouldn't have been a problem if it wasn't covered in ice, alas resulting in a bruise directly on my right ass cheek.
Okay. Now, we were at the point where the challenge actually begins. I know how to turn, kinda. I know how to stop, and fall after. I also know how to get up after I fall. I began down the hill with my bald teacher encouraging me along the way. Shortly after feeling thrilled by the success of my motion, I then realized that I did not know how to slow down. I sped up faster and faster and began to scream and look for safe places that I could crash into on purpose to avoid hurting anyone. My teacher was hollering advice at me, probably telling me how to slow down, but at this point that was all white noise. It turns out that when I am overcome with fear I forget how to stop, fall, and/or turn. Problem.
I then, went off of a jump that happened to be in front of me. I flew into the air, and having never done that before, landed (sort of) and tumbled to the right side of the trail. That was quite the adventure. The only problem is I am still almost at the top of the trail and can't quit just yet. OH HOW I DESIRED TO QUIT! I took a deep breath, and got back up. Something unusual must have happened because when I went to use my right arm to get up I could barely hold myself. It was extremely painful, but I was getting used to pain after falling so much in my attempted snowboarding lessons. I thought that this pain, was just part of the deal so I brushed it off, and continued down the hill... and managed to fall again, of course. This time it was far less dramatic and when I went to sit up, I realized that I was in even more pain and that now I couldn't even lift my arm. I felt that there was nothing more I could do other than finish going down the trail and taking a break at the lodge afterwards. I hoped the break would last the rest of my life. At this point I couldn't tell if I was sweating, crying, or freezing. All of those things seemed to mix together. I breathed into my mouth cover and couldn't tell if my nose was running or my eyes were leaking. I felt sweaty but I was ice cold. Winter sports are so complicated.
One more time I got up, and a short while later, fell down just before the trail ended. Now I couldn't move. I'm pretty sure that the moist face mask was from crying. I thought maybe the tears were from being so cold, but it was probably because I was hurting.
Some of my classmates came over, and so did my bald teacher. He told me to walk inside the lodge and I could finally have my life long break.
It turns out God looked at me trying to snowboard, snapped his fingers and said "well, that's not gonna happen"... because as luck would have it, I dislocated my shoulder on the first fall, and relocated it on the next fall. That would probably explain my pain. At least that's what the emergency room doctor told me at 1 in the morning. The good part was, my doctors note got me out of snowboarding club for the rest of the semester. I didn't even have to go, but I still was able to get the sports credits. That's something I call, victory, sweet victory.
And so, there you have it! I will never be a winter person no matter how hard I try! I now have chronic back problems due to unrelated issues, and will most likely never be on a snowboard again. But hey! At least I gave it a shot. I don't mind being the supportive person who sits in the lodge window drinking hot chocolate and hitting on snowboard instructors. It'll be a sacrifice, but I'm cool with that.
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